Finished but failed

After months of training, last weekend I finished my half ironman, I was 5 minutes faster than last year.

The weekend started early Friday morning with a trip to the bike shop to pick-up my bike and to Sainsburys for some last minute groceries.

The car was packed with my tri-gear, bike and sleeping bag and so I headed off to Wimbleball, the UK half ironman site. The journey was slow and miserable, heavy rain, thunderstorms and traffic dominated the four hour journey. (An omen for the weekend perhaps).

All went according to plan, early evening on Saturday after finishing my pasta I crawled into my sleeping bag in the back of my car and fell asleep.

I woke before my 04:30am alarm, I was freezing and shaking. I quickly put on more layers but was still shaking from the cold.

At 06:05 I waded into the lake and I started my second half ironman adventure. As I rounded the last buoy, I longed for the swim to be over. This was different, a strange feeling to last year...... "Come on snap out if it" ....I said to myself.

The swim was finished, nothing special just survival. I transistioned to my bike and begun the important leg of the race.

Everything was going to plan, physically I felt OK, nutrition was OK. I sat up on my bike out of the aero position, I looked around and a thought zipped through my head......"why am I doing this" ...... at this point, mentally I had lost my race. The remainder of the bike leg and the run where now just a chore, a task that I needed to finish.

I crossed the finish line 5 minutes faster than last year, but this time it was very different. I was not smiling or crying with joy like last year. This time I just wanted to get my gear and go home. I did not enjoy this, I did not get a buzz from the challenge. Although I had finsihed the race, mentally I had lost.